Lesson #6: The Mongol HORDE!!!

I sincerely apologize for last lesson’s misnumbering.  I’ve fixed it now, but I feel rather silly about it.  Today, we are going to learn about Genghis Khan, and his kingdom.

Just The Facts

Genghis Khan was so effective at siege warfare, he ended walled cities. (Weatherford, XVII)

In 25 years, the Mongols subjugated more land and people than the Romans did in 400. (Weatherford, XVIII)

Genghis Khan personally conquered more than twice as much as any other man. (Ibid)

Genghis Khan’s burial site was called Ikh Khorig, or “Great Taboo,” by his people. The Communists called it “Highly Restricted Area.”  They liked to to defend it with MiGs (those are jets, for those who aren’t around Air Force personnel all the time, or who did not see Top Gun recently) and use it for artillery practice. (Weatherford, XXII)

Genghis was born Temujin. The name Genghis comes from the Persian spelling of Chingish. In his own language, Chino means Wolf. (Weatherford, 65, 66)

Genghis’ main wife was named Sorkhokhitan. She was the mother of 4 khans, and was generally a badass lady, (Weatherford, 167)

“Hurray!” is a Mongol phrase.

“Hun” means “human.” Mongols called their Hun ancestors Hun-na, or “People of the sun.”

Genghis never referred to it as “The Golden Horde,” that name only designates the descendants of Jochi, his oldest son, through Batu Khan, that settled in what is now Russia (Weatherford, 133, 188; Holland, 102).

Temujin

Legend says the Mongols were born when Blue-Gray Wolf mated with Beautiful Red Doe on the shores of a great lake, deep in a mountain forest, (Weatherford, 9).

The founding ancenstress of the mongols was named Alan the Beautiful, (Weatherford, 23). Unsurprisingly, Google did not turn up any real results for an image search.

Temujin’s mother was named Hoelun. She was traveling with her new husband back to his village when they were attacked by a falconer and his brothers.  Hoelun begged Chiledu, her groom, to go without her, and gave him her blouse.  While this would sound strange to us (and more than a bit awkward for Hoelun, though she probably knew what was coming, and it was goign to involve her losing her shirt anyway), it is important because to the people of the Steppes, smell was extremely important, as it was thought that a person’s aroma and breath carried with it a bit of his or her soul.  So, effectively, Hoelun gave Chiledu a piece of herself to take with him while he saved himself. It is also said that when the hunters caught up with her, she screamed so loudly the very woods and rivers rumbled and shook, (Weatherford, 12-13).

His name is an etymological treasure, even before he is called Genghis. Temul means, “the look in the eye of a horse that races where it wants to go, no matter what the rider wants.” As a verb, it means to rush in headlong, or to be inspired (Weatherford, 15).

Jelme is a Bro

Temujin is not the most grateful.

So during one of his early battles, Temujin was shot in the neck.  His second-in-command, Jelme, sucked the blood (and blood clot, you’re welcome for that image) out of his neck, and when he couldn’t possibly swallow anymore, he spit it on the ground.  Temujin stirred and asked for airak, which was fermented horse milk (you’re welcome for that idea too). Jelme, in true bro form, walked naked into the enemy camp to look for it.  This would have been huge, because one, it was probably extremely cold, and two, being found would have left him…well, exposed, and ashamed, at the least. And that question is actually the one Temujin asked.

Actually, the issue of blood is a huge one to the Mongols. Blood was both revered and terrifying to Mongols.  It was considered a sign of great respect to trample someone to death inside a burlap sack her/his blood wouldn’t tough the ground. (Weatherford, 48-49)

As ungrateful as I’m making Temujin out to be here, clearly he did something right. In sixty years, not once did someone desert his army.

Mongols and Conquest

Could've happened to anyone!

This totally happened, (Weatherford, 93-94). I’m sure the buildings didn’t look like that, but you get the idea.

There are a lot of things that could be said about Genghis’ army and his method of conquest.  I’m not actually going to get into that much of it, because 1) it is probably the most well known and 2) I will come back to it when we talk about warriors.  Really, Genghis Khan is one of these great figures who is simultaneously hero and villain.  He used calculated slaughter to inspire other cities to surrender.  If a city surrendered, they paid a tribute and were allowed to leave so the Mongols could turn their land into pasture. If they didn’t, every single person would be dead in a matter of days, period (Holland, 98).

If you’ve ever heard the quote:

“The greatest joy a man can know is to conquer his enemies and drive them before him. To ride their horses and take their possessions. To see the faces of those who were dear to them bedewed with tears and to clasp their wives and daughter in his arms,” you can thank Genghis for it and know he MEANT it, (Weatherford, 113). Even if what you probably visualized was:

Admittedly, it DOES sound cooler when Arnold says it...

The mix of myth and reality to Genghis’ army only adds to the charm.  One legend claims the Caliph of Baghdad requested Genghis attack the Sultan of Khwarizm by tattooing a message on the back of a man’s head, (Weatherford, 110)

On the less-legendary side, we know that Genghis would force prisoners into moats to make living ramparts, and then roll siege weapons over them, and that he threatened that his enemies would be “drowned in the sea of annihilation.” (Weatherford, 8)

Not that everyone fell easily to the Mongols. Botchui-tarhun totally pwned the Genghis in 1219, mostly because she lived in a forest, which was not conducive to the Mongol fighting style. Historical fiction would also tell you that when one of the envoys Genghis sent her (yes, it was a her, and her name meant ‘Big and Fierce’ if you were wondering), was not only not killed, but she married him, (Weatherford, 102-103).

I could always come back...

Kara Khitan, or the Black Khitan.  Guchlug was a son of Genghis’ enemy, known as Toyars, and he usurped control of Black Khitan. A fellow fond of persecuting the Muslims in his kingdom, which was more or less okay with his other subjects because they were Buddhist and didn’t trust the Muslims. Guchlug himself claimed to be a Christian. When he left, the gates locked behind him and they wouldn’t let him back in, so he besieged it, reconquered it and raised it to the ground. Which is when the Mongols showed up. The Muslims there were so grateful, they exclaimed that the Mongols were, “one of the mercies of the Lord and one of the bounties of divine grace.” (Weatherford, 104)

Genghis himself once said: “It is not the common people at fault, but the great ones among you who committed these sins.  If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.” (Weatherford, 7)

Of course, this is the same man who gave us this stomach churning citation: “Henceforth, the abcess of evil thoughts may be lanced by the improvement of relations and agreement between us, and the pus of sedition and rebellion removed,” Ew. (Weatherford, 106)

But before you go thinking that Genghis had any preference for the Muslims, consider this:

That same Caliph of Baghdad? Guy what is the closest thing the Muslims have to a Pope? The one who might have had a tattooed courier? When Genghis showed up to Baghdad, he demanded its surrender. The Caliph refused.  So, out of respect, Genghis had him trampled to death in a sack by a herd of horses, (Holland, 101).

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CALIPH SINCE.

No one would conquer Baghdad or Iraq again until 2003. Yeah. The Mongols did in two years what no crusaders or Seljuk Turks could do in two CENTURIES (Weatherford, 188)

If your face isn’t going “o.o” something is wrong with you.

Sometimes, conquest was done a bit differently…

MY EYES!!

Have you heard of the Ismailis? The correct answer is: Yes.  That is, if you’ve ever used the word ‘assassin,’ cuz these guys pretty much invented it. Heluga was the brother of Mongke Khan (who we will meet shortly). He had the most military experience and when he captured the Imam of the Ismaili’s, he forced him to make them surrender.  He kept the Imam happy by supplying him with plenty of girls and indulging his rather strange obsession with watching camels fight and mate. Bet you’ll play Assassin’s Creed differently now.

Mongols and Religion

“We Mongols believe in one God by Whom we live and by Whom we die and toward Him we have an upright head. Just as God gave different fingers to the hand, so has He given different ways to men. to you, God gave the Scriptures and you Christians do not observe them.  You eagerly place money ahead of justice.”-Mongke Khan (Weatherford, 174).

I like Mongke Khan, he was a wise man.  As already mentioned, Mongols were equal opportunity offenders. As long as you did your job, they really didn’t care what you believed.  But Mongke is extra awesome to me because he gave us the world’s single most epic debate, that I feel should be the template for all debates.

Seriously, how are we not doing this all the time?

Tired of the bickering between the three main religions of the area, Mongke called for a debate, probably the only one of its kind. The year was 1254. There was a lot of booze involved (that’s what those bubbles are). They discussed Good versus evil, the nature of God, whether animals had souls, whether God created evil and reincarnation. At some point, the Christians stated singing, which angered the Muslims who tried to drown them out by loudly reciting the Qu’ran.  The Buddhists ignored both and engaged in quiet meditation. Finally, the debate ended the way most Mongol celebrations did: Everyone was simply too drunk to go on, (Weatherford, 172-173). I thought the little Jeapordy style boxes were nice, and the lotus was a particularly favorite touch.

Other ways Mongke was cool…

Mongols and Art and Scholarship

Tell me this doesn’t sound amazing to you:

A tree, made of sculpted silver and other precious metals…branches extending into a palace along rafters…silver fruit on silver limbs, and 4 golden serpents braiding their way around the trunk.  An angel stands on top with a trumpet. This angel was mechanized and controlled by a set of pneumatic tubes that woudl be blown into, making the angel raise the trumpet AND sound it, and making the 4 snakes gush different kinds of alcohol (wine, black airak, rice wine and mead), into the silver basins at the base of the tree. Mongke had one of this installed in his capital, (Weatherford, 170).

And before you start to think Mongke had the monopoly on the brains in the family, consider that Genghis gave tax exemptions to people like Priests, teachers, scholars, doctors and lawyers (Weatherford, 69).

Even more impressive is Khublai Khan, who could probably get a whole lesson just to himself.  He moved the Chinese capital to Zhongdu, which was then called Kanbalik (or City of the Khan).  Now, you would call it Beijing, (Weatherford, 198). This contained the Forbidden City, mostly because Khublai didn’t want to remind his Chinese subjects that he himself was a Mongol.  Inside the Forbidden City, there were huts set up the way they would be on the Steppes, and babies were born and raised the Mongol way. But my personal favorite is the Office of Natural History that Khublai had built.  this was the largest history project in…well, history.  It took 80 years to complete, and contained the History of the Sung Dynasty, and the Jurkhed and Khitan Kingdoms, (Weatherford, 260.)

Hey, do you like math? What about algorithms? Thank a Khan. The word ‘algorithm’ comes from al Khwarizm, one of the cities conquered by the Mongols (remember that tattooed courier?), (Weatherford, 231).

And finally, I give you…

I See What You Did There

YeeeeaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I wish I could make up stuff this good. Khublai Khan started the first CSI in China.  And I mean, the whole bit, they studied blood spatter, footprints, interrogation techniques, the whole bit, (Weatherford, 202). I’m pretty sure Europe was still trying to solve crimes by seeing if people floated.

Epilogue and Other Tidbits

I would be remiss if I did not discuss Fatima.  Fatima was adviser to the Empress, and one of the most powerful women of the 13th century.  As one might imagine, this made her beyond unpopular.  When she was eventually prosecuted (for crimes she almost certainly didn’t commit, which is funny because there were a host of crimes she did), she was tortured for several days and then every orifice of her body was sewed shut so her soul could not escape. Then they threw her in a river, (Weatherford, 164-165).

Europeans believed Mongols were a lost or exiled tribe of Jews, similar to the way some Mormons viewed Native Americans.  This made it easier to persecute Jews in Europe, because they were believed to be in league with the Mongols (Weatherford, 156-157).  Like Twain said, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
And really, Europeans should not have been so horrified at the Mongols.  After all, they bought the slaves the Mongols would sell to Venetians and Genoans, (Weatherford, 159).

Actually, Mongol descendants would face some pretty brutal persecution that had nothing to do with anti-Semitism. When the Taliban was driven out of Afghanistan in 2002, they massacred the Hazara, who had descended from the Mongol army that had settled there, and lived in the area for 800 years, (Weatherford, XXVII).

It has been argued that Russia’s xenophobia is a direct result of meeting the Mongols, (Holland, 101). It’s true that the Princes of Rus (as it was then called) first banned together under the Prince of Muscovy (now Moscow) to fight the Mongols, which gave rise to the Russian empire.

It is probably for the best that Ogadai Khan died when he did.  It forced the Mongols to return to the capital, as was their custom, in order to bury him.  Had they not been required to do that, Subodei, the most badass general in the Mongolian army, one of the Four Hounds, would have almost certainly reached deep into Europe.  They would have killed Dante straight off, with his outspoken nature.

One shudders to think what they would have done with Leonardo. (And by that, I mean, I totally think about that all the time, because it is both terrifying and AWESOME.)

But whether or not you view the Mongols as a consequential force of good or evil, it cannot be denied they were extremely important to the history of the world.

FOR THE HORDE.

Weatherford, Jack. Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World (New York; Random House, 2004).

Holland, Celia. “The Death That Saved Europe,” in What If, edited by Robert Cowley (New York; Penguin Putman Inc., 1999)